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有时我喜欢安静,有时我喜欢热闹。 有时我喜欢加入人群,有时我喜欢远离他们,独自呆着。 冬天我渴望阳光,夏天我盼望下雪。 春去秋来,不变的是我的学术信仰、志向和兴趣。一直思考着:什么是语用?为什么要研究语用?怎样研究语用?研究语用需要具备哪些素质?谁在研究语用?语用研究的走势如何?存在哪些问题?等等。 我深信“宁静”方可“致远”的道理,努力走向这种境界。 求学、求真的路上,深深领悟到过程决定结果,过程大于结果,远远大于结果。

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2016-11-15 20:16:49|  分类: 教育哲学edu phil |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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微翻译大赛揭晓 | 精彩!看翻译牛人们集体爆发 2016-11-06 谈微老师 CHINADAILY 第80期微翻译大赛获奖者 Issac Yan 运用之妙,存乎一心:翻译徐志摩。首先,谈微老师想说的是: “徐志摩的魅力大,让我们这次收到了不少赏心悦目的高质量译文,很高兴。感谢大家!感谢徐志摩!“ 原文再现 不,他的脸是怪,我从不曾见过这样耐人寻味的脸。他那上半部,秃的宽广的前额,着发的头角,你看了觉得好玩,正如一个孩子的头,使你感觉一种天真的趣味,但愈往下愈不好看,愈使你觉着难受,他那皱纹龟驳的脸皮正使你想起一块苍老的岩石,雷电的猛烈,风霜的侵陵,雨雷的剥蚀,苔藓的沾染,虫鸟的斑斓,什么时间与空间的变幻都在这上面遗留着痕迹!你知道他是不抵抗的,忍受的,但看他那下颊,谁说这不泄露他的怨毒,他的厌倦,他的报复性的沉默! 最佳译文 Issac Yan No. His face is just unusual. Never have I beheld a face as this thought-provoking. His forehead is sure intriguing—broad and bald, except for its both sides with barely a bit of hair, which resembles the head of a toddler, striking you as pure and innocent. Then, down the bottom half it’s much less agreeable to look at; it gets your heart aching even. The leathery countenance reminds you of an aged weathered rock, struck by thunder, pecked birds, bored through worms, and overgrown with moss: on which changes of all descriptions have occurred and left traces. You’d assume he never rebels and simply bears everything. But take a look at his jaw! Who wouldn’t agree it betrays his hatred, his weariness, and his retaliatory silence? 这篇汉译英段落结构很明显:“怪”——脸的上部——脸的下部——相由心生。大致是一个“总-分-总”。有了结构上的大体把握,翻译起来就心中有数了。下面我们逐个部分来看。 1. 第一句,“不,他的脸是怪……”。为什么有这个“不”字呢?一个转折,强调下面重要的信息来了。实际上,“怪”是这一句乃至整段的核心词,是独立于美丑之外的另一种审视角度。这句话很简单,译不错,但译文里如果能够把这个“怪”的信息突出出来,达到提纲挈领的效果,就是锦上添花。至于如何突出,有很多方法,可以: *用强调句或者强调的词(获奖和优秀译文里用了indeed和literally,不限于这两个) *或者把“怪”这个信息提取出来、采用倒装(‘Strange is my word for his face’),或者像舒小葡萄’I would rather employ the word “strange” to describe his face’. *或者像吴健的’so strange that…’和Nicholas的’his face is weird, so much so that…’。 这些都是可以借鉴的方法。“耐人寻味”,许多译文选择thought-provoking,我个人觉得有些刻意。另有不少译文作’intriguing’甚至’interesting’,我认为更加贴切。 2. 脸的上部和下部。借这一句,我想与大家探讨一些普遍性的方法问题。我们先来把上部和下部主次要的信息分别整理一下: 脸的上部 主要信息: “好玩”“天真” 辅助信息(修饰或者支撑主要信息): “秃的宽广的前额,着发的头角” 脸的下部 主要信息:像苍老的岩石 辅助信息:岩石上的时空印记 “雷电…风霜…雨...雷…苔藓…虫鸟…” . 原文在给出信息的时候采用了相似的策略:先浓墨重彩地铺陈辅助信息的细节(“前额”、“头角”,以及富丽的排比),再抛出主干信息。但我们会发现英文中比较常见(甚至可以说比较“好”)的顺序是反过来:先把重要的说了,再铺陈细节。 在Joseph Williams那本著名的Style: Lessons in Clarity and Grace里,提到如果在句子的最开始九、十个词抛出最主要的信息,会对读者理解很有帮助。他举了这样的例子: A. The regulatory proteins actin, myosin, tropomyosin, and troponin make up the sarcomere, the basic unit of muscle contraction. B. Those filaments consist of four proteins that regulate contraction: actin, myosin, tropomyosin, and troponin. (Joseph Williams, Style: Lessons in Clarity and Grace, New York: Pearson Longman, pp. 92-3) B句很明显是更清楚的。同样,在我们翻译的时候,特别对待像描述脸的下部这样的长排比句,建议大家先提取出主干信息,将排比后置(见获奖译文)。 类似的,对于脸的上部,请看下面的三句译文: 1). (Holmes Sherloki) With a bald open forehead bulging out from hair-swathed sideburns, his upper face looks just funny, like one from a child, spreading a jovial spice of naivety and innocence. 2). (斐莱希) It is rather interesting to eye his upper front: the bald expanse of his forehead, along with his hairy temples, resembles that of a little child, thus generating in the beholder a sense of delightful innocence. 3). (Esther李倩萱) The upper half, broad bald forehead and furry temple, amuses you once you glance at it. It is just like a child’s head which spices you with innocence and naivety. 从语言层面说,三篇都是可圈可点的译文。但从信息重组和安排的角度看,第一篇译文的所有信息基本是平行的,重点不够突出。第二、三篇译文把原文中的主干信息提取了出来,句子显得层次分明。 此外,简单说一个另外的小问题:主语的选择。“但愈往下愈不好看,愈使你觉着难受”这句,中文不需要主语的一致,但英文有这样的要求,于是翻译这句时必须选择谁做主语:“你”还是“脸”。两种选择都有好译文,但普遍来说,用“脸”做主语容易啰嗦一些,容易出现这类译文:’Looking down, it becomes more and more ugly and makes you feel increasingly uncomfortable’。用“你”做主语(见几篇优秀译文),就简练得多。这也是提醒大家在这类细节处多加推敲。 最后一句大家都处理得很好,这里不多说。在众多上佳的译文中,以下三篇优秀译文表现最为突出。 Kristy: No, his face looks literally weird and I’ve never seen such a one so suggestively shaped. The upper part, that is, his bald broad forehead and protruding crown of head capped with hair, looks rather amusing like a child’s head, arousing in you a sense of innocence. Yet as you look down, it becomes disturbing. His deeply wrinkled cheeks remind you of a timeworn rock, on which all the vicissitudes of time and space leave their traces: it has been struck by thunder and lightning, eroded by wind and frost, corroded by raindrops and thunderbolt, while stained with lichens and mottled by birds and insects. And you know he endures all these without ever resisting. But look at his jowl, his revealing jowl that betrays his venomous malice, his utter weariness and his vengeful silence that no one could deny! (点评:分解并重组信息的技巧圆熟,堪称范本。语言地道,准确,精炼。可惜一些地方的翻译有些绝对,对原文的理解有一定偏差——比如译文倒数第二句。) 戴远航 Yes, his face is strange, I have never seen such an intriguing face (点评:逗号应改句号). The first half of his face, with a broad forehead and little sideburns, which is as funny as the head of a child, makes you feel a taste of childlike innocence. However, the more you look down the face, the more uncomfortable you will feel. His wrinkled shell-like skin is reminiscent of an old rock, where the raid of thunder and lightning, the hit of wind and frost, the strike of rain and storm, the erosion of moss and lichen and the invasion of insects and birds, whatever changes you could think of ranging from time to space, all leave traces on it! You may think that he has not resisted and has endured all of these, but when looking at his cheeks, who can say there is not a sign of his hatred, weariness and even retaliatory silence? (点评:最后一句理解到位) Nicholas No, his face is weird, so much so that I've never seen such an intriguing face before. Its upper half, with bald, broad forehead and thin(ly)-haired temples, which very much resembles a child’s head, gives you a sense of innocence in an interesting way. But the further you move your eyes down his face, the worse looking and more uncomfortable it becomes. His wrinkled face is reminding you of an aged rock, which bears numerous traces of thunder and lightning, wind and rain, frost and moss, insects and birds, as well as whatever changes in time and space! You know he is obedient, tolerant, but look at his jaw, who would not say it reveals his bitterness, his tiredness, and his vengeance in silence! 最后说一句:说了这么多原则和方法,但有趣的是,最终夺魁的译文却并不怎么符合我们的每一条原则。这也是语言和翻译让人着迷的地方:处处有规则,处处有例外,有无穷的变化。并不是说所谓的原则和方法没有用,不过写作也好、翻译也好,往往是多种方法和考量的权衡,所谓运用之妙,存乎一心。 本期讲评 谈微老师 从事英美现代主义诗歌研究,热衷文学、文化与音乐相关翻译。曾任北京国际音乐节口笔译员,《王的盛宴》中文字幕翻译。现与上海文艺出版社合作,翻译Lyndall Gordon著诗人T. S. 艾略特传记。 后台回复“微翻译”查看往期翻译大赛 CHINADAILY RealTimeChina 长按识别二维码 关注CD君 Pageview 349730Report 精选留言 写留言 35 Handsome Issac 居然是我!!!!!!!太感谢了 11月6日 8 作者回复 你瞅你损色,还handsome. 你有徐志摩handsome? 哈哈,多谢参与!恭喜! 11月6日 7 朱文娟 感受到大神们的风采 翻译之路任重而道远 11月6日 4 Kristy 老师的点评让我豁然开朗!自己太着力于语言的表达,却忽略了最基本的语义理解。这下找到了下一个翻译突破点! 11月6日 3 ? 给你们一千个赞 11月6日 3 何必呢 谢谢老师得点评 11月6日 3 黑天鹅 别人的翻译实在学不来 11月6日 2 (●—●) 觉得最佳译文的倒装句用的很好诶~ 11月6日 1 王小月 看了,最佳译文,着实受益匪浅。个人在汉译英的时候,往往会倾向于过于简洁,而忽视了其中所表达的涵义。但是有个问题,一直困扰许久。觉得自己的英文往往难以反映出汉语的语气,如果在翻译过程中可以更简洁明了的把原本汉语的语气翻译出来,更有气势?希望可以出一期讲解这方面的文章。谢谢。例如,句式的运用,词汇的运用(可以着重说说如何扩大自己可选取的语气词汇)等等。灰常感谢。因为我觉得当翻译的基本功语法、句式的运用可以正确运用的时候,我所提到的问题是翻译人员普遍面对的一个提升瓶颈。 11月8日 1 Miss Lv 我的不上榜 11月6日 作者回复 再接再厉~! 11月7日 1 开端 怎么参赛呀 11月6日 作者回复 请查看文末的参赛说明~ 11月7日 f 上面关于翻译语气的留言,之前有一篇译傅雷论翻译的题目和讲评,印象里与这个问题有关,不知会不会有帮助? 11月8日 以上留言由公众号筛选后显示 了解留言功能详情
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